Advice For A Friend

Hi, sam87. I was hit by a car four years ago. The accident took off my left leg and broke my back at T9, above my waist. When I was waking up in ICU, a lady doctor told me I was in the hospital, that I had been in a car accident, that I couldn’t talk because I had a tube down my throat, but that they would be taking that tube out in just a minute,...also, that I’d lost my left leg, that they’d tried to save it but couldn’t, that they were taking care of me, that my back was broken,... but that we would have to see about that later. I gave small nods while she was telling me all this. I think that she did pretty good. The only thing that has always annoyed me a little was, “Why didn’t she wait until they had taken the tube out of my throat to tell me all this?” I suspect the reason was to be sure she didn’t have to hang around answering my questions or giving any sympathy. Actually, I barely remember them taking the tube out a minute later. I was so heavily sedated that I went right back to sleep. What that doctor told me was the most information I got in my 2 1/2 months in the hospital. After that “conversation” with her, I only got bits and pieces of information as I asked them for it. I hope this helps.

Thanks vintage,

Any information is good information, so thank you so much for opening up and telling me your story. I will certainly take on board what you said about receiving information in a way in which you are able to properly process it with the ability to ask questions if needed.

Best wishes to you for now and the future and thanks again for sharing with me.

Sam

Thanks sam,

I appreciate your feedback immensely and will certainly be bearing it in mind when talking to the relevant people. You're right, this seems like a good place to start in trying to understand these types of injuries, but also how to approach difficult situations with sensitivity.

Good luck for the future and thanks again.

Sam

sam87, we aren’t used to having such a cultured, appreciative guest as yourself here. Lol. Usually, people dive bomb in and drop off a desperate plea for help,...then never come back to acknowledge our efforts. Not all, of course, but many.

Thanks lostinspace,

That's certainly the kind of attitude that we will all try to convey once he wakes up. I guess time and patience will be key, but knowing about the injury ourselves will undoubtedly help him, so thank you for your reply and your advice.

Thanks again and all the very best to yourself,

Sam

Hi sam87 ,

My brother had a motorcycle accident 8 years ago. I am his little sister. He is paralysed from the upper chest down.
His best friend actually also witnessed the accident and she was in shock. It was hard for her but she did tend to her family for support.
Everyone has a different way of dealing with these awful situations. You also have to give them space to process. You can`t force someone to go to therapy, but him just going to see him might be the start of working through these emotions he is going through. Sometimes you don`t need to say much at all except "I am here for you buddy". 

The biggest advice I can give is to stick by your friends side who had this terrible accident and show support as much as you can. Visit him when you can, hang photos around his hospital bed of his friends and family. Be there for him now and especially be there for him as time goes on. The one thing that threw my brother into a depression was when all the people he thought would be there for him in the long run, werent. So no matter if he changes as a person (and he will because his whole life will be different), be there for him.

Happy to share any other advice. Just reach out anytime.

Cheers

 

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