Self Advocacy and Recovery

I regret not having asserted myself on the catheter issue. One nursing home put a Foley catheter that was too large in me, unbeknownst to me, causing me pain for two days. All I did was have then remove the Foley and give me diapers. They hadn’t had the right size catheter for me. It was two nurses that did it. And they knew very well that it was the wrong size, but didn’t tell me.

I spent a year and a half in hospitals and nursing homes before finally getting to go home to my house. I see you are in Connecticut. Texas has the worst nursing homes in the nation. The trick that the Texas nursing homes have learned is that if there is anyone in their right mind who is able to document mistreatment,...what day, what time, who did it,...then the solution to the problem is to ask the person if she feels sad (preferably asking as if they care about the person). If the resident is a rookie and says, “Yes”, then the nursing home gets a doctor (preferably a psychiatrist) to say they need to be protected from themselves. Problem solved. No nail clippers. No shoelaces. No cellphone. This is the Texas nursing home cure to any complaint. Happily, I’d seen enough already not to fall for the “do you feel sad” question. Anyway, my point is that it’s not always about learning to advocate for yourself or improving your gumption. Sometimes the resident is walking a tightrope just to avoid being locked up, ...because the fox is guarding the henhouse.