SCI and the impact on your Family

The impact on my family is what makes me sad about Spinal Cord Injury. I can deal with the impact on myself, im strong this way but the SCI affected the dynamics of my family and my position within the family.

I had firm established roles within the family..always hosting Christmas and special occasions for everyone...i love cooking! Running our family competition yard, teaching riders and young horses and running a busy equestrian shop that i built up from nothing.
I never had time to think..my life was focused on family, business, horse competitions and friends.

Pre SCI days me and my mom often talked about how i would be the one out of my siblings who would care for her and my dad if they lost their independence this way. Whenever they have been ill it was me who stepped in to look after them...My mom became worried about how they would be cared for now.

I lost my longterm relationship after becoming injured..which other than being stressful is a positive but has affected other people within the family.

I felt that i lost my 'worth' with certain family members and was often reminded how i wasnt 'useful' any more..this was said both in jest and in a serious manner.
Responsibilities had to be given to other members of the family who were less able to deal with everything.

So i lost my business and more recently my stableyard and one or two close family members in the process. 

On a positive i am now independent, i feel i can care for my parents pretty well when that time comes, in many ways at least. I am back organizing the horse competitions for the year for about 20 riders and doing some teaching.

Im building bridges with certain family members..our relationship is different but at least there is one.

Ive also recently had the opportunity to undertake a study that i start today...this will be a big part of my life for a long time.

So...Im almost at 3 years since my SCI and its been a process or re-evaluating, learning and re-negotiating my position with family members but im almost there....im a determined girl 

Thankyou for saying grammy..ive worked hard to find my way again but everything worth achieving is hard worked for

Indeed horses do sense it of you are a little apprehensive...they are amazingly intelligent animals

I really believe that the majority of people really don't realize the impact our injuries have on those close to us.

Well i have learnt that over the years that nothing stays the same. Endings. new beginnings and change is inevitable as nothing stays the same.

Our children may learn this before others and some never experience this until they are adults but maybe it just means that they will be more adapt to change and cope better with earlier experiences