I never really put too much thought into how much function I've lost over the course of 2 years, 4 surgeries, and tons of complications, but these past two weeks have really made me reflect because of a new friend I made.
He suffered the same injury as mine (L1 burst fracture), and received surgery and rehab from the same hospital as I did. However, in three weeks, he was walking like normal again, and looking at him now, you would never know he had spinal cord damage.
Then look at me: two days after surgery, I was taking a couple steps with a walker, then BAM! the infection grew and everything swelled around my spinal cord. After my fourth surgery, my left side is pretty well shot-- I can hardly even get my quad muscle to respond anymore.
Just goes to show how much damage incorrect care can cause. I could be walking perfectly fine if not for the infection and hardware dislodge. And it shows just how different each spinal cord injury is! Two people with the exact same vertebral injury, similar cord damage, the same surgeon, hospital & rehab team have completely different outcomes and function.
He can carry me, but I can't even get my left leg to respond. However, it is really refreshing to talk to somebody face-to-face about what it's like to wake up after a surgery and realize you can't feel your legs, can't feel your bum, and to know what it's like to go through the torturous pain, mentally and physically. And it is a huge load off my shoulders to spend time with someone who knows what hardware pain feels like, and to know that he's never going to ask me stupid questions like, "can you feel your [lady parts]?", underestimate my pain on a cold day, and there is the unspoken understanding of IBS-like problems. It's not even something I have to explain.
And it's motivating me to go back to physical therapy.
It's crazy the difference eh Knight? Glad you've got a new "friend" though!
lol, right now that is all he is I do like him, but I'm not even over my ex yet, plus, it's much better to build a friendship first. It wouldn't be fair to him to start a relationship when I'm still recovering from a massive break-up and Valium withdrawals. This is a new beginning for me and I would rather surround myself with supportive friends than jump into something I am not prepared for because we know what happens when I do that!
Earlier tonight, we got into talking about hardware pain & what it feels like when you bend the wrong way, or when some butthead comes up and pats you on the back or pushes on you. Not nice! I've almost fallen off a barstool because of that kinda behavior!
Earlier tonight, we got into talking about hardware pain & what it feels like when you bend the wrong way, or when some butthead comes up and pats you on the back or pushes on you. Not nice! I've almost fallen off a barstool because of that kinda behavior!
Is that because of the pain if some one does that on your back Knight or is it because of balance? Just a thought but when you go to the bar and if this is an issue for you i guess you could stay in your chair and put the handles up, it will stops the pats at least ?
Earlier tonight, we got into talking about hardware pain & what it feels like when you bend the wrong way, or when some butthead comes up and pats you on the back or pushes on you. Not nice! I've almost fallen off a barstool because of that kinda behavior!
Is that because of the pain if some one does that on your back Knight or is it because of balance? Just a thought but when you go to the bar and if this is an issue for you i guess you could stay in your chair and put the handles up, it will stops the pats at least ?
My chair doesn't have handles. I occasionally sit on barstools, and haven't had any issues with buttheads lately. I think after I threw a hard left hook into someone's eye last winter, everyone learned to not touch me while I am intoxicated! I have balance issues since the last surgery because now I cannot feel my left side. The problems I have with being jostled or patted on the back kind of hard is that it causes pain or causes me to twist to catch myself, and twisting is one of the most painful movements ever.
Post by kilg0retr0ut on Nov 6, 2014 6:57:22 GMT -8
It blows my mind you can drink that much booze with the meds yor on knight , Glad you found a new friend in rehab, Work hard , exercise is so important to keep the pain level manageable .
Post by kilg0retr0ut on Nov 6, 2014 7:04:04 GMT -8
I also think your right about keeping yourselves out of any relationships at this time . You need to work on yourself, by yourself. If yo can get your self together the test will follow. I wish you well
It blows my mind you can drink that much booze with the meds yor on knight , Glad you found a new friend in rehab, Work hard , exercise is so important to keep the pain level manageable .
It probably helps that my opiate tolerance is through the roof, and I'm only on a small amount of Valium for my spasms. I really don't drink large amounts though, and the only reason I've been drinking lately is because I got dumped on my ass.
It blows my mind you can drink that much booze with the meds yor on knight , Glad you found a new friend in rehab, Work hard , exercise is so important to keep the pain level manageable .
Good point kilg0retr0ut, it could be one of the reasons why Knight is on so much meds but still have no effects on her.
Knight,i hate to say but i gotta agree with the guys..Are you going to feel any better on the alcohol if your pain is intolerable? SCI isnt very forgiving in a situation like this...
Now, especially, is a time where you need to nurture and care for yourself..as kilg0retr0ut says, exercise and keeping your health good is vital. Lifestyle choices have such an impact on your health and wellbeing...Its natural to feel really down but learn from this experience and dont set yourself up for a hit again in this department
I just want to add..dont think anyone is judging you..we are saying to you, out of care.
It blows my mind you can drink that much booze with the meds yor on knight , Glad you found a new friend in rehab, Work hard , exercise is so important to keep the pain level manageable .
Good point kilg0retr0ut, it could be one of the reasons why Knight is on so much meds but still have no effects on her.
The 6 morphine per day weren't working when I wasn't drinking, so I'm unsure what the deal is with that other than the fact that they are the immediate release ones, so they hit hard, but the relief won't last more than 2 hours when it's supposed to last 4. I think my doc will switch me to the extended release ones because I've had good luck with those in the past, or put me back on hydrocodone. *shrug* I'm pretty sure it's because they're the I.R. tablets. I'm used to my pain relief lasting longer, so maybe it's not that they're not working, just that they're not working long enough, you know?
Knight,i hate to say but i gotta agree with the guys..Are you going to feel any better on the alcohol if your pain is intolerable? SCI isnt very forgiving in a situation like this...
Now, especially, is a time where you need to nurture and care for yourself..as kilg0retr0ut says, exercise and keeping your health good is vital. Lifestyle choices have such an impact on your health and wellbeing...Its natural to feel really down but learn from this experience and dont set yourself up for a hit again in this department
I just want to add..dont think anyone is judging you..we are saying to you, out of care.
No, I know. Trust me, I've slowed down and only had 2 shots & 2 mixed drinks all day yesterday just to take the edge off of my irritability. I had a bad day from the second I woke up because, in my dream, I was house shopping, and I ended up buying my ex's house from him. It was a really weird dream, which I'm afraid has some deeper meaning. So, I woke up in tears because of that, then I was working on a project and got some serious glue in my hair, and even with glue remover oil, tons of conditioner, and harsh shampoo, I still have some in my hair! And on top of that, my ex texted me and started to go off about some photos & sayings I've been sharing on my facebook page (from which he is blocked), even though not all of them were about him. Also, the guy who hooked him & I up has repeatedly said he is "neutral", and "not going to take sides", but he stopped talking to me, so it's pretty obvious where he stands. It sucks too, because he was a good friend, and his girlfriend was really cool & fun to hang out with. I had a sh** day, which did get better. I do plan on being done drinking now. And I know you guys aren't judging me; you're just trying to help. My bowel program/schedule is back on track, thanks to an extra Colace & a dose of Lactulose!