Ladylimpsalot, I too have and am experiencing the same thing. I lost my husband to lung cancer in Aug. 2012 and had to move back to Canada from Texas. Sold my acreage and some of my horses and of course, lost my whole life. I bought a house here in Alberta with my daughter and her husband. Have been here since October 2012 and am still finding my grand kids, ages 4 and 6 hard to adapt to, after all had 12 years of just Mike and me. I too want to travel, but cannot find anyone to do so either. So many days, I feel like such a burden. Reconnecting with or finding, friends is not happening. I am so lonely and of course, winter for 6 months of the year doesn't help. At least in Texas, I could always go out, but not here. Often house bound for weeks due to weather and having no where to go.
Have always been involved with horses, both showing and racing pacers. I am able to be involved with show horses thanks to my daughter who trains them for me. I can no longer ride in shows, but am going to start driving my Morgan at shows. If it wasn't for my daughter and son and their families, I would be all alone. I also have 2 dogs and 3 cats. I cannot think of my life without critters.
I am so sorry. It is really hard to move on and feel motivated sometimes when you are on your own, and for me it seems like a double blow to lose your husband and then your health, or your ability to do much. You and I need to get together on a cruise or something.
I was thinking that somehow we need to meet. As soon as I can, am heading to Texas for 4-5 weeks to visit friends. About 40 minutes SW of Fort Worth. I have a very good friend that lives in Dallas,GA.
I am so sorry. It is really hard to move on and feel motivated sometimes when you are on your own, and for me it seems like a double blow to lose your husband and then your health, or your ability to do much. You and I need to get together on a cruise or something.
I was thinking that somehow we need to meet. As soon as I can, am heading to Texas for 4-5 weeks to visit friends. About 40 minutes SW of Fort Worth. I have a very good friend that lives in Dallas,GA.
Many years ago, I worked in Dallas, GA. Let me know, you can post it here when you might be coming to the state.
Ladylimpsalot I am sorry for your Loss it must be hard to motivate yourself when you have been through so much , but unfortuatley you are the only one who can do this .. I had no help from anyone and had to motivate myself .. what I did was tell myself this is not going to rule my life I am going to beat this .. and swam and exercised . I got the kick board and flippers out and got in the pool every day until these legs got moving I dragged myself up the stairs to the gym every day and worked out with weights until I could walk up the stairs I have full strength back but have to deal with the other stuff which yes gets me down . I have no family in Australia so I have dealt with it myself . I have told no one that I have CES and go to work every day and carry on as normal as I can
Post by kilg0retr0ut on Feb 18, 2014 17:42:13 GMT -8
Benson, sounds like you gave the CES a run for it's money. I can't imagine how uncomfortable working full time must be on top of CES. Must be hard to focus.
This may sound like crap but all things pass with time, you never know where you going to find yourself. You kinda got to ride out the lows till the next high.
I have had CES since 9/14 and have gotten very depressed. CES is the worst thing I can think of. It's hard for people to understand what you are going through. They just don't get that you can't just exercise it away or forget about it. I can walk but it's embarrassing and exhausting. It makes me want to just stay home and I never stayed home before. I don't even really want to talk about it very much. its like people don't really believe you have it. It sucks the life out of me.
I have had CES since 9/14 and have gotten very depressed. CES is the worst thing I can think of. It's hard for people to understand what you are going through. They just don't get that you can't just exercise it away or forget about it. I can walk but it's embarrassing and exhausting. It makes me want to just stay home and I never stayed home before. I don't even really want to talk about it very much. its like people don't really believe you have it. It sucks the life out of me.
I'm sorry to hear that chrioli, I can't imagine what you're dealing with
In the beginning I was shy to be out in public places being in my chair but I've gotten myself to the point where I don't let it bother me anymore. I've had people tell me that's this is "all in my mind" and that if I try hard enough, I can walk again. Initially I explained to people how much more complicated it is than that but I got so tired of doing that I just decided to agree to "use my mind more" lol. You just gotta not care what others think/say and keeping doing what you do and it'll be better for you.
I have had CES since 9/14 and have gotten very depressed. CES is the worst thing I can think of. It's hard for people to understand what you are going through. They just don't get that you can't just exercise it away or forget about it. I can walk but it's embarrassing and exhausting. It makes me want to just stay home and I never stayed home before. I don't even really want to talk about it very much. its like people don't really believe you have it. It sucks the life out of me.
I'm sorry to hear that chrioli, I can't imagine what you're dealing with
In the beginning I was shy to be out in public places being in my chair but I've gotten myself to the point where I don't let it bother me anymore. I've had people tell me that's this is "all in my mind" and that if I try hard enough, I can walk again. Initially I explained to people how much more complicated it is than that but I got so tired of doing that I just decided to agree to "use my mind more" lol. You just gotta not care what others think/say and keeping doing what you do and it'll be better for you.
Thank you DJ, I am self conscious. I will try working on my own feelings about dragging my sometimes lifeless lower limbs around, then perhaps I will be less self conscious around others. My legs get so uncomfortable it's hard to forget about them. I can't imagine navigating with a chair, I trip over my cane on occasion as it is! Argh.
I'm sorry to hear that chrioli, I can't imagine what you're dealing with
In the beginning I was shy to be out in public places being in my chair but I've gotten myself to the point where I don't let it bother me anymore. I've had people tell me that's this is "all in my mind" and that if I try hard enough, I can walk again. Initially I explained to people how much more complicated it is than that but I got so tired of doing that I just decided to agree to "use my mind more" lol. You just gotta not care what others think/say and keeping doing what you do and it'll be better for you.
Thank you DJ, I am self conscious. I will try working on my own feelings about dragging my sometimes lifeless lower limbs around, then perhaps I will be less self conscious around others. My legs get so uncomfortable it's hard to forget about them. I can't imagine navigating with a chair, I trip over my cane on occasion as it is! Argh.
No worries chrioli, I'm sure that the more you go out and not care what other think/say, the less self conscious you'll become. It'll be frustrating but you'll be fine!