Inspired Spinal Cord Injury Support Forum

ladylimpsalot
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SCI and Emotions Sept 11, 2013 19:24:12 GMT -8

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Post by ladylimpsalot on Sept 11, 2013 19:24:12 GMT -8

I have had CES since November of 2011. I have been elated as I realized that I was able to walk, sorta kinda. I have been angry that I am on my own, and that nobody seems to understand and that I have so much pain and numbness and can not do what I used to do. I am afraid that things will get worse and that there is nothing more. I am feeling as if my life is over and I need to find something else to do. But not sure how to do that.

DJ Administrator STAFF Posts: 8,162 Post Likes Received: 2,829 Date Joined: July 2013 Injury: C6 - ASIA B Date Injured: June 2011 Member is: Offline Send PM	SCI and Emotions Sept 11, 2013 19:44:51 GMT -8 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Back to Top Post by DJ on Sept 11, 2013 19:44:51 GMT -8 ladylimpsalot, I'm sorry to hear you're feeling this way. What do you do for recreation or enjoy doing? Do you get out much?

ridingdirty Senior Member Posts: 242 Post Likes Received: 84 Date Joined: July 2013 Injury: t4 Date Injured: 06/24/2012 Member is: Offline Send PM	SCI and Emotions Sept 11, 2013 20:06:33 GMT -8 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Back to Top Post by ridingdirty on Sept 11, 2013 20:06:33 GMT -8 hello ladylimsalot dont be angry because you are not ces because of your fault. this is normal feeling me to but i am not angry any more =)

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SCI and Emotions Sept 12, 2013 1:09:14 GMT -8

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Post by Lαrα on Sept 12, 2013 1:09:14 GMT -8

Sept 11, 2013 19:24:12 GMT -8 ladylimpsalot said:

I have had CES since November of 2011. I have been elated as I realized that I was able to walk, sorta kinda. I have been angry that I am on my own, and that nobody seems to understand and that I have so much pain and numbness and can not do what I used to do. I am afraid that things will get worse and that there is nothing more. I am feeling as if my life is over and I need to find something else to do. But not sure how to do that.

ladylimpsalot...i know how you are feeling....

Its sometimes very difficult for others to understand fully what we/you must experience especially in regards to the effects of Cauda Equina Syndrome and any Spinal Cord Injury and how it impacts your/our lives.

The numbness you talk of and pain is hard to for someone else to imagine...most people can empathise with something physical as in a disability..if they see that you cannot walk then they can understand that..anything non visual becomes more difficult for them.

If i feel someone would benefit from understand and knowing me better then i tend to make effort to help them to understand but otherwise i dont tend to bother to. I just plod along in my own merry way lol

CES played a big part in myself and my then partner breaking up....but i then went on to meet someone very special so i can tell you with confidence that you never know what is around the corner and that it may just be what turns your world around and brings you joy.

I had an incredibly active life pre SCI..i trained my horses for competing, taught riding for competition and ran my own business and own stableyard.
I lost my business because of my injury..reduced my horses that i cant now do anything with, let my stableyard out and do hardly any teaching.

This saddened me more than anything..i loved being busy but i took stock of my life and re-evaluated what i can now do. I have since helped a friend with her business..not in a big way but just as and when i can..i focused hugely on my exercise and fitness and started going to the gym everyday and the started this forum with DJ.
I have plans for the future and i will make sure i achieve them..

Find what you can focus on..what you enjoy and go for it..throw yourself into something that can use your energies with. If there isnt anything suitable in your area than you can do then start something up..i know you run a succesful CES group so you have commitment and a positive outlook that you can monopolise on.

We must never allow or condition now to become who we are or define us....we have to take control of our lives and make happen what makes us happy....
My advice to you is to take each day as it comes, dont worry about the future..it hasnt happened and we do not know what is around the corner, worrying about it will only affect our focus on enjoying the day we are in now, the present is what counts...so we must live it to the full.

Kick your CES into touch and make today the first day of the rest of your life and a positive one...where you find your focus and direction and work towards your aims...making the first one ...to be happy

DJ, kilg0retr0ut, and 4 more like this

kilg0retr0ut
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SCI and Emotions Sept 12, 2013 5:37:31 GMT -8

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Post by kilg0retr0ut on Sept 12, 2013 5:37:31 GMT -8

Sept 11, 2013 19:24:12 GMT -8 ladylimpsalot said:

I have had CES since November of 2011. I have been elated as I realized that I was able to walk, sorta kinda. I have been angry that I am on my own, and that nobody seems to understand and that I have so much pain and numbness and can not do what I used to do. I am afraid that things will get worse and that there is nothing more. I am feeling as if my life is over and I need to find something else to do. But not sure how to do that.

Lara's post covers anything I could say to help. I looked for a smiley hug to send you, and there isn't one, so BIG HUG.

Sorry your down, things will get better.

L4/5 CES

DJ Administrator STAFF Posts: 8,162 Post Likes Received: 2,829 Date Joined: July 2013 Injury: C6 - ASIA B Date Injured: June 2011 Member is: Offline Send PM	SCI and Emotions Sept 12, 2013 5:59:08 GMT -8 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Back to Top Post by DJ on Sept 12, 2013 5:59:08 GMT -8 kilg0retr0ut, I've added a hug to your post It's right at the bottom!

kilg0retr0ut Advanced Member Posts: 2,507 Post Likes Received: 1,862 Date Joined: July 2013 Injury: L4/5 Cauda Equina Date Injured: 7-15-10 Member is: Offline Send PM	SCI and Emotions Sept 12, 2013 16:33:17 GMT -8 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Back to Top Post by kilg0retr0ut on Sept 12, 2013 16:33:17 GMT -8 Must have missed it, thanks DJ.
	DJ likes this L4/5 CES

jerseyboy
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SCI and Emotions Sept 12, 2013 17:35:06 GMT -8

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Post by jerseyboy on Sept 12, 2013 17:35:06 GMT -8

Sept 11, 2013 19:24:12 GMT -8 ladylimpsalot said:

I need to find something else to do. But not sure how to do that.

What do you do currently?

I was left in a similar situation after my injury. My college/future career, job, and hobbies all had to change. It took me quite a while to find myself again but i did slowly. What types of things interest you?

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ladylimpsalot
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SCI and Emotions Sept 13, 2013 7:12:48 GMT -8

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Post by ladylimpsalot on Sept 13, 2013 7:12:48 GMT -8

I don't do very much of anything right now. I need to figure out what I can still enjoy. Looking forward to the fall when I can feel more comfortable outside. But a lot of this has to do with the fact that I had just completed certification in Medical Assisting and then CES hit out of the blue when I was getting ready to go back to work (hopefully!). I know that I am not the only one who had to give up on certain dreams.

delboy
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SCI and Emotions Sept 13, 2013 7:40:27 GMT -8

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Post by delboy on Sept 13, 2013 7:40:27 GMT -8

Sept 13, 2013 7:12:48 GMT -8 ladylimpsalot said:

I don't do very much of anything right now. I need to figure out what I can still enjoy. Looking forward to the fall when I can feel more comfortable outside. But a lot of this has to do with the fact that I had just completed certification in Medical Assisting and then CES hit out of the blue when I was getting ready to go back to work (hopefully!). I know that I am not the only one who had to give up on certain dreams.

hugs from here too. So sorry you are feeling like this, it was such a pleasure and an honour talking to you in chat, you are such a warm person. i'm sure others can sense this too once they get to know you. Sure their are places where you can hang out and meet people face to face and spread your charm. yes we do give up on dreams but we always have new ones to aspire too. i personally think you have a lot to give

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Lαrα
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SCI and Emotions Sept 15, 2013 8:10:23 GMT -8

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Post by Lαrα on Sept 15, 2013 8:10:23 GMT -8

Sept 13, 2013 7:12:48 GMT -8 ladylimpsalot said:

I don't do very much of anything right now. I need to figure out what I can still enjoy. Looking forward to the fall when I can feel more comfortable outside. But a lot of this has to do with the fact that I had just completed certification in Medical Assisting and then CES hit out of the blue when I was getting ready to go back to work (hopefully!). I know that I am not the only one who had to give up on certain dreams.

ladylimpsalot....what are your passions and dreams now? We all still have them, i have so many that i don't know which one to chase first lol some are achievable and some are moderately achievable and some are no doubt unrealistic...but i still have them...

Why not do a bucket list...? In fact we should all do one!

!!

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ladylimpsalot
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SCI and Emotions Sept 19, 2013 8:53:53 GMT -8

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Post by ladylimpsalot on Sept 19, 2013 8:53:53 GMT -8

I would love to travel. I might be able to do this. It is a little harder because I have cats and dogs and not much help in the area, nor much money!

I ought to write a book.

Maybe I could volunteer at the Humane Society or the local animal shelter.

Lαrα
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SCI and Emotions Sept 19, 2013 10:23:08 GMT -8

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Post by Lαrα on Sept 19, 2013 10:23:08 GMT -8

Sept 19, 2013 8:53:53 GMT -8 ladylimpsalot said:

I would love to travel. I might be able to do this. It is a little harder because I have cats and dogs and not much help in the area, nor much money!

I ought to write a book.

Maybe I could volunteer at the Humane Society or the local animal shelter.

So.....start saving up for your first trip..contact the local animal shelter because they can maybe take in your pets in return when you go on your first trip.

The start a book proposal...i can tell you how to do...ive put one together before when i started to write a book about supporting students with Autism in mainstream education...

Then your on your way working towards achieving all three!!

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luba84
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SCI and Emotions Feb 15, 2014 19:26:29 GMT -8

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Post by luba84 on Feb 15, 2014 19:26:29 GMT -8

Ladylimpsalot, I too have and am experiencing the same thing. I lost my husband to lung cancer in Aug. 2012 and had to move back to Canada from Texas. Sold my acreage and some of my horses and of course, lost my whole life. I bought a house here in Alberta with my daughter and her husband. Have been here since October 2012 and am still finding my grand kids, ages 4 and 6 hard to adapt to, after all had 12 years of just Mike and me. I too want to travel, but cannot find anyone to do so either. So many days, I feel like such a burden. Reconnecting with or finding, friends is not happening. I am so lonely and of course, winter for 6 months of the year doesn't help. At least in Texas, I could always go out, but not here. Often house bound for weeks due to weather and having no where to go.

Have always been involved with horses, both showing and racing pacers. I am able to be involved with show horses thanks to my daughter who trains them for me. I can no longer ride in shows, but am going to start driving my Morgan at shows. If it wasn't for my daughter and son and their families, I would be all alone. I also have 2 dogs and 3 cats. I cannot think of my life without critters.

It is what it is.

ladylimpsalot
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SCI and Emotions Feb 15, 2014 19:46:07 GMT -8

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Post by ladylimpsalot on Feb 15, 2014 19:46:07 GMT -8

Feb 15, 2014 19:26:29 GMT -8 luba84 said:

Ladylimpsalot, I too have and am experiencing the same thing. I lost my husband to lung cancer in Aug. 2012 and had to move back to Canada from Texas. Sold my acreage and some of my horses and of course, lost my whole life. I bought a house here in Alberta with my daughter and her husband. Have been here since October 2012 and am still finding my grand kids, ages 4 and 6 hard to adapt to, after all had 12 years of just Mike and me. I too want to travel, but cannot find anyone to do so either. So many days, I feel like such a burden. Reconnecting with or finding, friends is not happening. I am so lonely and of course, winter for 6 months of the year doesn't help. At least in Texas, I could always go out, but not here. Often house bound for weeks due to weather and having no where to go.

Have always been involved with horses, both showing and racing pacers. I am able to be involved with show horses thanks to my daughter who trains them for me. I can no longer ride in shows, but am going to start driving my Morgan at shows. If it wasn't for my daughter and son and their families, I would be all alone. I also have 2 dogs and 3 cats. I cannot think of my life without critters.

I am so sorry. It is really hard to move on and feel motivated sometimes when you are on your own, and for me it seems like a double blow to lose your husband and then your health, or your ability to do much. You and I need to get together on a cruise or something.

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SCI and Emotions

Post by ladylimpsalot on Sept 11, 2013 19:24:12 GMT -8

Post by DJ on Sept 11, 2013 19:44:51 GMT -8

Post by ridingdirty on Sept 11, 2013 20:06:33 GMT -8

Post by Lαrα on Sept 12, 2013 1:09:14 GMT -8

Post by kilg0retr0ut on Sept 12, 2013 5:37:31 GMT -8

Post by DJ on Sept 12, 2013 5:59:08 GMT -8

Post by kilg0retr0ut on Sept 12, 2013 16:33:17 GMT -8

Post by jerseyboy on Sept 12, 2013 17:35:06 GMT -8

Post by ladylimpsalot on Sept 13, 2013 7:12:48 GMT -8

Post by delboy on Sept 13, 2013 7:40:27 GMT -8

Post by Lαrα on Sept 15, 2013 8:10:23 GMT -8

Post by ladylimpsalot on Sept 19, 2013 8:53:53 GMT -8

Post by Lαrα on Sept 19, 2013 10:23:08 GMT -8

Post by luba84 on Feb 15, 2014 19:26:29 GMT -8

Post by ladylimpsalot on Feb 15, 2014 19:46:07 GMT -8

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