Im doing speeches....

Hi shawzfun,
To be honest my injury was not really traumatic at all. I fell on my back on some metal steps but there are several members on here who had traumatic accidents and they can maybe offer more imput than myself.

I soon realised when i was in rehab that i was one of the lucky ones because of my having a lower incomplete injury compared to several friends who were high lever similar to yourself.
I felt no place to feel bad for myself....i was fortunate.

I have found that i don't mind talking about my accident and injury if it is someone who is in my family/friends circle or someone who genuinely asks out of interest.

We are all very different and deal with everything in our own way...but you should be very proud of yourself because you have found talking about your accident very emotional and yet you have found the courage to share your story so that you can benefit others so they dont have to go through what you did yourself.

This alone is therapeutic and healing inside....

My only advice is to write..put your thoughts down on paper, this way they arent in your head...write your thoughts down and then close the book.

Keep up the good work
take care
lara

shawzfun, you are a very brave lady indeed and should be very proud of your achievements. Sometimes we are challenged unfairly in life and we will never know the answer to why we have been given the path that we are taken by.

Our hopes and aspirations change, expectations of life changes but we must never let our injury define our life and future.

All I wanted from life was to be happy and settled and sail through with as little problems as possible, be a good mother and wife and then my fall happened. I was depressed severely. I did not know how i could still be a useful mother or wife but i learnt that worrying about the future stopped me living the life that i enjoyed so much.

I take one day at a time and make the most of every day, tomorrow is another day that i dont need to think about until tomorrow. I dont talk of my fall, it does upset me so i dont dwell upon it. it happened, its done, i cant change it.

I admire your spirit to make good come from a bad life changing experience, just as deanertheweiner does. It will help heal the emotional wounds 

I just wanted to thank you all. My accident was very traumatic but Ive obviously managed to deal, cope and move on. I just want to save anyone from having to go through what I went through. The experiences that I wish upon no one. My injury has taken me through many different emotions; some of which on a daily basis. But I feel I've grown in many ways.
I'd say the main thing my injury has changed in my life is kids.  I've always wanted children but thats not gonna happen now. I could prob get pregnant but I couldn't raise my baby. And I find it unfair to have fiance responsible for me and a baby. I know time would make it easier but I dont think Im gonna go that route. Im not gonna have children.. Those are hard words to swallow. But I manage, with my dog as my baby. 
So not letting accident affect my life.... well it has.
Thanks to all the positive support from everyone, thats a nice change of pace. 
  

    Great forum here to get feedback on "Crip Speaking" I've been doing it for the better part of 15 years since a tubing accident in /91.

Practice makes perfect, lots of online advice - best advice I see is tell a story, learn the story then get passionate about the story.

Watch Ricky Racer Hansen speak = PRICELESS

OK.....this one is for shawzfun and DJ.....my thoughts on a point both you guys have brought up ......children........

If there is one thing that i have learnt from this life and from dealing with spinal cord injuries...is to never say never......

I remember having a conversation similar to this with a guy who had just had a child prior to his injury in my spinal unit....he was so depressed about not feeling adequate as a father because he now had limited function.

I told him that  parenting a child doesent need to come down to what you can practically do for that child..... it comes down to giving love...nurturing....guiding....providing a safe home and emotional stability.....A kiss...a smile....a hug....praise...encouraging your child to be and become everything that he/she can be in life....encouraging independence in thinking.

If you can give this your child....you can give them everything they will possibly need in life and all the life tools they will..all that and love...what more can any parent offer or any child want...and who are you to deny some little person this amazing gift.

The practicalities of changing nappies..feeding.....getting dressed....will not define you as a parent...this you can get help with.....and remember that anything worth having in this life is never easy worked for but the ultimate goal/reward is worth all the work in the world.

Keep your dreams and work for them....A spinal cord injury may make it harder but then its all the more worth achieving.....

I am after all an idealist but im a practical problem solver too and i will find solutions to most things because i have vision and determination......keep your dreams, hopes and ambitions...you have the power to make them real.

I was brought up by parents who both had full function and able bodied and yet didnt know how to give affection or praise....i missed and needed both and this defined my childhood not the fact that i had everything practically done for me when i couldnt do it myself.

DJ..as you may personally imagine (for more than one reason.)......this wasnt an easy post for me to reply on but  personal feelings and need to give my perspective. help and advice to yourself and shawzfun..outweighed this.