Myelomalacia

roosterillusion , I'm so sorry that the news your family gets keeps going from bad to worse. From the little I have read about Myelomalacia, it makes common sense that if they did surgery and stopped further compression then surely the softening would decrease or halt the progression?
What do the 'experts' actually say about it, why can't they help? Have you contacted other experts for their opinion?

As for your Dad.....is he still using the computer? Because using the computer is another way of being able to keep socialising....since he doesn't want to leave the house at all, at least using the computer is giving him access to the outside world and conversations with others.

My Mum who doesn't have a SCI but has many health issues, barely even moves in the house, the only time she leaves is when she has to go to the doctor for a prescription. All she does is sit on the couch watching TV...her partner does all the housework.
So I understand (in a small way), the frustration you feel about your Dad giving up.

tetra ,tarabev ,vintage ,

Thank you so much for your thoughtful replies. Dad has told us that he is dying, but he hasn't actually heard that from a physician. I asked him to please meet with the neurosurgeon that diagnosed him (another neurosurgeon looked at the tests and agreed with the diagnosis and that no surgery was possible). At the very least the doctor should let us know what we are facing and generally what to expect and what our options are, if any. He seemed receptive to that.

Dad has had three back surgeries in an effort to create more room for the spinal cord and has hardware in his back since his spine was destroyed from the initial infection. Some of that bone has grown back. My Dad says he feels worse and worse every day, and he is extremely scared. I asked him to see a mental health professional and he didn't seem sold on that idea. I'll keep bringing it up as I feel like that's literally all I can do for him right now.

Dad does spend a lot of time on the computer, but he doesn't interact with people online. I've tried to get him to join groups and chat, but he doesn't seem interested or feel like other people know what he's going through. We've also tried to connect him with SCI mentors numerous times to no avail. His life is checking email, ordering things on amazon, and watching TV.

I'm just babbling at this point. Thanks again for being there for me through the past five years. What a struggle, I had no idea what we were in for. I feel like my parents are my children and they're unable to do things for themselves but I'm unable to help them, too.

My two cents for whatever its worth. Many years ago I was a psychologist for a hospice.  People who have not been exposed to therapy in some way are often intimidated, scared by the idea of talking with someone. I have found it helpful to find something meaningful to the patient to help engage them. eg. do you want to talk with someone about what you want for the time you have left or do you want to talk about how I can help your family after you're gone. It is not unusual for someone to not want to know what the guess is on time left. It is always just a guess. 
You didn't say whether you are seeing a therapist.I hope you will. its such a difficult time .