Feeling Worthless...

Bigj, maybe this will help. Kratom was on my local news a couple of weeks ago.
www.nbcdfw.com/news/health/Kratom-Users-Defend-Its-Use-as-Safe-Alternative-to-Opioids-473468633.html

Hugs your way, bigJ. What a week. I too will pray this is a false medical scare but if not, good they found it. As you have shown, you will handle things.  Occasionally, and for unknown reasons (random?) life will throw crisis after crisis, grief after grief, at a person in a short period of time.  One finds ways to cope, and I suppose one part of that is when we acknowledge how deeply unsettling each problem is.  

I hope we at this forum manage to offer that bit of extra fellowship that helps you continue moving forward.  

May I ask the ages of your children?

Tetra

Hi BigJ...

Hi.  I'm sorry about how you are feeling.  I go through that periodically, and had a very difficult weekend... 
I became paraplegic from an L1 Burst resulting from a car accident 13 years ago.  Before that, I was the family bread-winner, making $30/hr teaching underpoverished teens aged 16-21 coming out of the jail system for serious crimes. I ran the program, taught Math, and was responsible for 60 kids.  I loved my job.  I was good at it....
Often I feel like a Physical AND Financial Burden, and that is probably the worst thing about this for me also - - worse than the pain, lack of mobility, and loss of feeling.  I just try to remind myself I am loved, I am worthy, and none of this is my fault.  Easy to say, sometimes hard to believe.

 It is often very difficult, near impossible, to remain intimate after such an event.  I try to make myself more emotionally available, since I cannot be physically so.

No advice here, just wanted to let you know I Heard You, and I Understand.
REACH OUT IF YOU EVER FEEL THAT WAY AGAIN.
PLEASE.